Ok so I have this conspiracy and it may seem pretty wild but bare with me.
So there’s this movie called “The Joneses.” “The Joneses” is a 2009 film about this affluent family living in the Suburbs with all the latest everything. They have the latest designer clothes, the newest cars, the newest gadgets, and they’re so fucking cool. The husband is handsome, the wife is beautiful, and the kids are oh so precious. Only, the Joneses have a dark secret…they aren’t real.
The Joneses are not a real family: they are actors hired by advertisers to wear the latest clothes, have the newest cars, and play with the best gadgets. This “family” was hired to be cool. Why you ask? Well monkey see, monkey do. Because this put together perfect family has all the latest things, the neighbors and the lookey-loos are all “i want it too.” So now everyone is buying all of these cool products so that they can be or feel somewhat like a Jones.
Alright, great film. Now, my theory is that somewhere in the depths of Hollywood, someone decided to do this in real life. Enter here: The Kardashians. Now, I’m not doubting that the Kardashians are a real family: DNA wise I’m certain that Kylie was once headed to Kris’ mouth but God was like uh uh I have bigger plans for you sperm baby! I’m just saying that I think about two or so years before the infamous sex tape (or maybe even after) there was some back alley deal between the Kardashians, Ryan Secrest, and some advertisers where it was agreed that the Kardashians were going to be the real life Joneses. They were going to pander to whatever America wanted to see and live a scripted life that would keep them in the public limelight so that we could all throw our money at anything and everything they even look at.
Think about it, it makes sense. They started their careers on their little reality show that honestly should not have become this big. Paris Hilton, Flavor Flav, the Osbornes, there were so many washed up or seemingly unimportant people with reality shows at the time because it was a fad to sit back a watch the lives of the rich and not so famous. So what made Kim Kardashian a household name and Whitney Port a name that needs a link?
It’s a known fact that reality shows are scripted: Snookie did 5 retakes, The Bachelor is told who he should pick ahead of time, Jeff and Jordan’s marriage is a CBS PR stunt-yes definitely. But those shows always stay in the realm of reality tv. You most likely know who Tokyo Vanity is dating because you watched Love and HipHop or you love Tok. You can go your whole life without being aware of this information.
But you can’t help but keep up with the Kardashians. Whether you watch the show or not you know the Kardashians and you keep up with them. How can you not? Everything from The White House to Sears has some sort of connection to this Krazy family.
They’ve inserted themselves in hip hop, sports, clothing, makeup, pornography, everything. They cater to all audiences and there’s one of them for all of us.
And you know what? It works. It fucking works.
Their influence surpasses many others. According to Forbes, when Snapchat changed their layout at the beginning of the year, Kylie Jenner tweeted that Snapchat isn’t worth opening and with that ONE tweet Snapchat shares dropped to a low of 8 percent. I don’t know stocks but I know 8 percent ain’t shit.
And let’s not forget the waist trainer fad! Ladies: please do not lie! We all know you have a waist trainer deep in your closet that you purchased. And why did you purchase it? Because Kim and her sisters posted a full face make up pic of them with the hashtag at the gym! But have no fear as you are not the only sucker! When the Kardashians began rocking their waist trainers sales on the product skyrocketed. All they do is make money! With the rise of social media and e-commerce this seems like a very natural transition. I mean, why wouldn’t ad companies use this powerful family to build their brand?
But what came first? The powerful family or the brand? Why is this family everywhere? Why is America so obsessed with the Kardashians?
I like all my blog posts to have some sort of lesson or take away and the message of this one is to just beware. This is just a high theory so there may be no merit behind it but at the same time stop letting this family control what you’re into. We do not know them. A lot of work was put in to ensure that we feel like we know this family but we only know what they let us and you can’t actually trust their judgement. And this goes for any popular celebrity. Do your own research and open your mind to the things around you.